Active Listening: seek first to understand

Covey's published practice: listening with the intent to understand, not to reply. The published claim: it's the highest of five listening levels (ignoring, pretending, selective listening, attentive listening, empathic listening). The signal you've reached it: you can describe the other person's frame of reference, the way he sees the world on this issue, accurately enough that he says "yes, that's it." Carl Rogers called the same practice reflective or active listening in the clinical literature.